Lent
If I can make it through this next 35 days, I can make it through anything. I’ll finally prove to myself I don’t need a girl to make me happy.
Looking Back.
Wow, freshman year was insane. It was the most fun at CK I’ve ever had, and then at the same time one of the most…. unproductive ever. But of all things, I’m happy my friends were by my side through it all. Through all the grenades, all the bad grades, all the shit I almost said, all the stuff I did, they were there for me. Hell, if it weren’t for them, I’d probably be pursuing some girl that never had a thought of going out with me, that found me way to great of a friend right now. Or I’d be desperately waiting for next year to start so I can try my luck again. But nah, my friends have saved my ass on so many occasions that I can now proudly say, out of my own volition and with help from the people that have always been there for me, that I would not go out with any girl from ck in the next year. There are plenty of attractive girls there, that are nice and beautiful, but I want none of them. Another thing that I can honestly say is that I think getting tied down in high school isn’t a good time. But eh, that’s just my opinion.
Celibacy
So recently I thought a good idea to get over the fact that everytime I like a girl It horribly failed was to not like anyone. Well, it works pretty well, but there are these two girls that I can’t help but find myself horribly attracted to. Honestly, sometimes I wish I could control my liking because it’s getting in the way of me being able to live my life. Like I make fun of my friend because this one girl clearly likes him, but I guess I’m just jealous. And same with my other friend. It sucks really, cause they seem like the types of girls would never like me. But I mean, Schools almost over, then I can do something fun and work on bettering myself.
Maybe I’ll find a girl that likes me. But until then, I refuse to like any girls. No homo.
Reblog this if you miss these shows :( …
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smh i swear da lil kids of today dont even know wut dey missin
My childhood!
MY CHILLLLDDHOOODDD IS BEAUTIFUL :D
as told by ginger was MY SHIT!
(Source: billionairecharm, via burnrubbernick)
Mindset.
FUCK IT.
Relationships are a waste of time
Why not just take a Radwanistic approach at life and just not like anyone?
I didn’t realize
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It is.
Venting Pt.3
I want nothing to do with love, attraction or affection. Every little ounce of liking I have for any girl always ends in loss and heartbreak, and I’m sick of it. I wish I could stop liking girls (no homo) from the bottom of my heart, because this pain just isn’t worth the small chance things work out. What’s the point of telling yourself that you’re worth it when nothing in your life has shown evidence of it?
If only there was a way to stop liking girls more than friends without being gay….
Venting PT 2
I swear, this break is just what I needed, time away from school and some of the people there. There’s this one person at my school that just makes me so angry, and yet she also makes me angry at myself. This girl is a freaking ice queen to me, and yet nice to everyone else. She is quite possibly the hardest person to make conversation with I have ever met. You know that one person that you try to talk to, that answers all your questions about their day, weekend, and alot of other things in one word? She does that to me all the time. Honestly, she is bitchy to me, but because my heart is an asshole, I want to keep talking to her. I mean, I feel like we would be great friends because I take more shit from people than a toilet. She’s always to happy and nice around everyone but me, and when she sees me her expression just hardens. To hear other people tell me about her, apparently she has a crapload of problems that she would talk about forever if she could. It annoys and drives alot of people away, but ironically I would love to listen to her because I enjoy listening to people’s problems and trying to help them solve them. But of course ,because life is just weird like that, the one person who would love to listen to her problems is the one she pushes away.
Oh, that reminds me, I still have to do that list of Shit Nobody Cares About. I’ll start it tommorow I guess.
Falling.
You know that feeling you have when you fall, and it feels like air is literally going through you? Or that OHSHI- feeling you get when you’re leaning back on a chair and you start to fall, but catch yourself at the last minute?
Lately, I’ve just been having that feeling all the time, in conversation, in scheming, in peace, in verbal war, and in the moments where I hold in my rage and talk civily. I don’t know why- And I don’t wish it wasn’t like this, I just wish it was easier to do, but I just have this feeling inside me where I just NEED to be cool with everyone. Not so much “Popular I’m a jock douchebag” cool, I mean, Like be peaceful and friendly with everyone and the feeling be mutual. But lately, I’m walking a minefield and putting my foot in my mouth. The past few weeks have truly been a test of my patience, and of my friendships. It let my find out who my real friends are, and who are the people that would believe the most bs and gossip they hear without going to me. I’m really happy I’m such a pacifistic person and that I’ve really worked on trying to be calm and verbally peaceful, because if it weren’t for that I would’ve insulted some people worse then an irishman on St.Patrick’s day that got his beer stolen from him by a racist asshole that called him british. Especially one little short kid that looks like he escaped from Willy wonka’s chocolate factory. We used to be good friends, I remember when I was nervous as hell around women and couldn’t even speak a full sentence to anything with two X chromosomes. But he helped me get over it, and now I can talk to anyone with ease as long as we haven’t had a bad history. But because he listens to rumors and can’t even ask me what the truth is, He’s an asshole to me. Honestly, I don’t know how much longer I can take him, either he calms his short fuse and napoleon complex down and we go back to friends soon, or I will rip on him worse than Jesse Jackson on a white supremacist.
